Opinion Based List:

Top Healthcare Headlines from Tomorrow's News

Submitted by Clive Riddle on Tue, 04/01/2014 - 02:00

  1. Healthcare.gov server achieves singularity, assumes control of planet
  2. Obesity Problem eliminated in United States thanks to Congressional Act to expand BMI ranges
  3. Exchange enrollment count after March 31st deadline exceeds 400 million, last minute inclusion of uncovered domestic pets credited with enrollment surge
  4. Influenza eradicated after development of oral vaccine distributed in Starbucks Coffee
  5. National consulting lobby urges Congress and states to adopt new, confusing and conflicting healthcare legislation - say lack of new laws since Affordable Care Act is stifling consultant job creation
  6. Medicare officially re-named "Johnsoncare" in keeping with Obamacare precedent
  7. Health Plan of San Mateo declared second largest plan in nation after Kaiser-BlueCrossBlueShield-UnitedHealthcare-Human-Aetna-Cigna-HealthNet-Molina-Centene merger

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